Coming back to the reality of my life. I am a mess and that is a freeing thing to say. Even as I write this I feel freeeee. Constantly in my life I feel pressures all around me to BE something, to DO something. I run fast, move and produce. I am sure that there might be someone out there that can relate to this. We live in a world that seems to constantly be moving faster and faster. I can;t seem to keep up – ENOUGH!!!! I am a MESS. I love that I am a mess. I love that I am not good at being on time. I am not good at looking the way other people want me to look. I am not good at responsibility, in some peoples eyes. I will never meet certain peoples expectations of me. I will never meet the false expectations that I place on my self either. I AM A MESS; at least when I am honest with myself I am.
Jesus chose people that were “normal.” In Velvet Elvis, a book by Rob Bell, he states that Jesus chose the “not good enoughs.” He described the disciples as simple young men that were not good enough to follow any other Rabbi, yet Jesus called them by name and said “COME FOLLOW ME.” I am tired of feeling like I have to be good enough before I can ever do anything for this Jesus. The beautiful thing is that I don’t have to BE anything. I don’t have to DO anything. All that is asked of me is that I am honest with who I am. I feel most free when I accept the fact that I am a mess. A beautiful mess of a man, created in the IMAGE of GOd. Weak. Frail. Human. Flawed. Broken.
Yesterday was Monday (actually it was last week). I did not realize it was Monday till about 7p.m. when it was after dinner. I was just having a rubbish day. The sun was not out, I did not get enough sleep, I was in meetings all day – from 9 am till dinner at 6. It was just a rough day. When I realized that it was Monday and I was just fighting my self a bit, I was able to see that I was simply having a “case of the Mondays.” I got some perspective!! And went for a little jog and simply felt better. It felt great to go to bed, wake up and know I had another shot at a new day. I want to make the most out of my days, and embrace the good with the bad.
I am a mess and it is a beautiful place to be. Day by day, all we have is time. Choose wisely how you spend it and who you give it to. I know my Jesus loves me just as I am. One our our DTS speakers constantly reminds us each year that if you sat in the corner the rest of your life and did nothing, GOD would love you the same. His love is not contingent on our doing, it simply is. God’s love is. For HE IS LOVE and I am a beautiful mess that is attempting to embrace that LOVE this day.